Dear Sovtech Office Space

It is with the greatest sadness and regret that I must divulge my shame at having been whitewashed, not once, but two times in the past week.

Though I have come a long way in my foos training, there are still significant holes in my game which I am struggling to shore up. I could not hope for better team mates in the form of Jamie Chennels and Andrew Chouler, except maybe Gerald Neves and Jono Irwin…. but I digress.

I know I have had a severe injury in the form of foosback, but this can play no role in my heinous defeats, as my Steven Hawking chair is an adequate cover for my disability. I am sure just as Hussain Bolt would celebrate a hard fought victory over Oscar Pistorius, so to do Gerald and Jamie feel proud when claiming a whitewash over a man confined to a wheelchair, (or rather a  chair with wheels…) but I again I’m getting off topic.

Please accept my sincerest apologies for my failings as a player both on and off the pitch chair. I will do better for Sovtech and indeed, for myself.

Kind regards,
Michael Stannard