Dear SovTech and Paper Plane

After incurring my 6 th odd letter, I was distraught and contemplated giving up. Particularly because Chennels and Chouler provide a black hole of gloating douschebaggery across the table.

I don’t know what Jan’s excuse was but it is scientifically proven that influenza causes reduced motor skills and quite frankly it was not safe for myself or anyone else in the office for me to be operating heavy equipment in that state. I blame all of you for allowing this as I was clearly delirious at the time.

I apologise for going down 9 nil on Monday, but clearly once my flu had receded I was back to full force after whitewashing Bren and Jan on Friday with none other than Rookie Bloo as my teammate. That’s the equivalent of Iceland beating England and I only wish I could grow a beard to celebrate.

For as much as I am sorry for my pathetic performance, I would also like to use this platform as a means of vocalising my absolute disgust at the speed at which letters are being written in this office. We used to have a sense of real shame after a whitewash, now no one fears the letter because it never makes it to press. I think there a lesson about life in there also. I’m not sure what it is though.

Thank you for your time and consideration in these communications.

Yours Sincerely,
Michael (Cough) Stannard